"My husband is currently playing Warcraft and previously played UO. I read what you wrote about your boyfriend and wanted to cry. I go through this everyday. My husband is on his game from the time he gets home from work, til the time he goes to bed, which can be anywhere from 2am to 4am, even if he has to get up for work the next day at 5 or 5:30am. I almost always go to bed alone and see more of the back of his head than I do his face. We used to watch a few select TV shows during the week, now he can't even spare an hour off the game to do that with me. I usually get home around 6pm and when I fix dinner, he'll either shovel it all down in 5 minutes and go back to the game or he will sit at his computer and eat. If I try to talk to him or tell him something, especially about how I feel about being ignored and being lonely, I get ignored or worse, get yelled at, becasue he lost his concentration and something bad happend to his character. The other problem, is that he is in the construction business and gets laid off every few months, and when he does, he plays online to compensate for not feeling a sence of worth from working and to deal with his depression of not working. Developing a charater and making them succeed gives him a feeling of accomplishment. However, since he's so addicted to the game, he can't seem to make the effort to get a side job or a part time job during the times he has no regular work, becasue he'd rather play his game. This leaves the burdon of supporting us to me. No matter how many times I've shown him our finances on paper and show him that we may lose our truck, it doesn't seem to have an impact.
I knew when I married him that life wouldn't be a piece of cake all the time, due to his line of work and I knew that he played online games. I made the choice to marry him, because I know and have seen that he can be a great person. He does do some sweet things on occasion (of course sometimes I don't respond as cheerfully as I should, becsaue I'm just so mad about being ignored for so long). There are sometimes that I can get him out of the house and see the wonderful man he can be.... However, these things have to be pre- planned well in advance. If it's something spontaneous, he makes some excuses why we can't go and we don't or I go alone and of course, it's becasue he can't leave his life-line...the computer. I keep trying to get my husband involved in our real life, but it just seems like these games are a higher priority than me, our marriage and our future."