It's 10 pm. Do you know where you and your loved ones are? Here is a collection of experiences from those who live / have lived with an obsessive MMOG gamer and from those who have lived the experience of obsessive MMOG gaming.

Thursday, February 03, 2005

Here is a follow-up to a posting from November 2004:

"I am not going to say that a person can totally pull themselves away from playing online computer games, but I will have to give you an update as to a previous posting that I made in November regarding my boyfriend and how my story is the same as all others in the amount of time and attention he gave to his games. For some reason I have never asked, he went from playing EQ to WOW when the new version came out. Many hours were spent and finally he made it to the goals he set and conquered the quest he needed to.

After following the advise that was given I decided it was important to continue to live my life and do the things that would make me happy, if he followed then we were going to make it and if not, sad to say he would have to stay with his life of games. It was so bad that he never even showered for days nor changed his clothes, he would fall asleep and wake up wearing the same clothes for days.

The main thing that I soon realized was, yes the game is a hobby for many, but it is most definitely an outlet for the game players to hide away from their pain or even at times a depressed state of mind. Until they can find the happiness from inside, they will continue to hide within the game. I finally got a chance to sit down and have a real communication with him and told him everything that was on my mind. I told him that I loved him and wanted to be with him, but that I was going to go on with my life and do things. I asked him of course if he was happy with his life and that there was so much more out in the big world he could offer.

Little bit by bit, I am finally getting some quality time, but with compromise. I have learned to let him have some time doing whatever he wanted, but in the evenings or weekends-I am finally having a dinner partner and friend to talk to. I am not sure what snapped but he gets up each day, showers and I have not seen him on the game in over a month. Of course the typical response I will always have in the back of my mind and I am sure it is on others is how long is this going to last until the next 'new' version comes out.

The main point of my focus to others is-there has to be compromises on both sides. We just cant expect them to completely pull themselves away, we have to let them have their enjoyment as long as it is not harmful to themselves or others. Yet at the same time every relationship requires quality time spent together and each person feeling good about the relationship. We must not hold back our true happiness and by focusing 100% of our time and energy on what they are doing and how alone we feel. We must move on-only we can take charge of our own destiny. If they are standing beside us in the end, that is good-if they are still in the chair playing their games, one day they will look up and we may not be there."

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