"I stumbled upon your blog this morning at around 6:00 a.m., while I was researching divorce for about the 50th time. My husband's drug of choice is EverQuest. He has played this game obsessively for the past few years and frankly, it has destroyed our marriage and his relationship with our daughter. It makes me sad to read other posts from people whose loved ones' lives are devoured by this game, but at the same time it was totally eye opening for me, and was the first time that I didn't feel completely crazy. I have spent nearly every day for the past few years trying to get my husband to quit. I've tried anger, sarcasm, gentle pleading, letters, printing out articles on game addiction...anything I could think of. And the worst part is, I feel immensely guilty because I'm so ashamed. I'm ashamed that he's chosen these random strangers over his own family. I'm ashamed to tell anyone about the loneliness and pain I feel as a result of being snubbed for a computer game. I almost wish he was an alcoholic or a drug addict. At least that's easier to explain than, "My husband would rather sit in front of a computer for days in a row than go on a walk with me or take me to dinner."
The computer he's using? It's a laptop he bought for me as a gift. I had it for maybe two days before he completely hijacked it. He'll be playing on the laptop and then will simultaneously hijack the desktop to look up information about spells. I've gone to the EQ site and read the messages he posts there. I'm sad to say that I'm jealous of the well-wishes and ass kissing posts he leaves for total strangers, congratulating them on marriages, births, successful raids, etc. One guy posted and said that he was leaving due to the fact that EQ was taking over his life, and everyone was basically like, "Good luck. Can we post your opening now?" It made my stomach turn.
I don't know what else I can do to salvage my self respect and my family. My daughter basically has given up on asking my husband to do anything with her
or to help her with homework. When she brings him her math and says she doesn't understand, he will literally keep playing his game and then will glance at her homework and say she should just try harder. The other day we had a serious discussion about our daughter's grades and performance in school, and my husband was still playing that f#*!ing game while he lectured her on paying attention. Is that a laugh or what?
My husband is famous for trying to divert my attention away from his addiction. I casually mentioned wanting to play XBox, and he lit up like a Christmas tree. He will constantly tell me I look tired and shoo me off to bed (alone) so he can stay up all night playing EQ. Last night I asked him if he wanted to watch a movie. He got upset and said he thought I was going to play XBox. I said, "I want to hang out with you." So he typed something to his guild and then put the laptop down. I assumed we would watch the movie. We put one in, and he spent the next half hour leaning over me to see if I was asleep yet. Finally, I pretended to be just so see what he'd do. He carefully maneuvered his way out from under me (I was laying with my head on his lap) and slid down to the floor at the base of the sofa. I opened my eyes and watched him pick up the laptop and the first thing he typed was an apology and an excuse that he had computer problems. So now I'm a computer problem?
I hate being saddled with these feelings, especially with the holidays coming. I feel like I want to be baking cookies and going shopping and doing what everyone else is doing as a family. Instead, my daughter and I are spending yet another weekend alone, total EQ widow and orphan, while my husband pledges his allegiance to EQ."