It's 10 pm. Do you know where you and your loved ones are? Here is a collection of experiences from those who live / have lived with an obsessive MMOG gamer and from those who have lived the experience of obsessive MMOG gaming.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The following is a compilation of several posts by the same person:

"Me and my partner are recently engaged and just got an apartment together. We've been together for over three years, and I know I want to spend my life with him. He is an amazing, loving person --- until he's in front of that computer screen.

He's been playing the game Asheron's Call since before we even met. I knew this when we started dating, and it was never really a problem in the beginning. After a year or so, I began to see what this game does to him. He becomes distant, and snappy, and ignores everything else around him that does not pertain to the game. I guess it was soon after I noticed that I began my "nagging." I never initially asked him to quit. I asked him to cut back on the game, and pay more attention to me and his friends and family, and he said he would. Did he? Absolutly not. He would say I was angry about him playing because I had no "real" hobbies in his eyes. So he got me playing. That was a huge mistake. He loved playing with me, and in the beginning I did as well. But then it seemed like the only thing we did together was play. That ended pretty quickly.

Fast foward a year and a half or so of the same old arguement day after day. He began failing classes, alienating family, and was completely antisocial. He was in charge of a clan, and when I would ask if we could go out and do something, he would say we would have to wait, because his clan needed this, or his friend needed that. What about what I needed? At this point, I began BEGGING. I was feeling unloved, unwanted, and unpretty. He would actually turn down sex to instead play AC. Again, he said he would cut back. This time he did, for a while. Same old crap started again, I was back to crying and begging and pleading for him to quit the game. I thought I finally changed things when I told him I was leaving. I packed everything I had at his house, and started for the door. He stopped me and promised everything would be better, and he would quit. He said he couldnt bear to delete his character as there was 4 years of work put into them, so would give them away. He didn't play, so I thought for about a month. He never gave his account away, and would only play when he knew I wouldn't catch him. But one day I did, and went to leave again. I stupidly stayed, but he did quit for a month or so. The expansion pack came out, and he begged if he could play just for a few days. I ignorantly agreed, but its been months, and he's still playing. This game makes him a liar.

I know I contribute to the problem. But he makes me feel so guilty when he tells me he would never make me give up something i love.

I'd be lying if I said things havent gotten better. They definatly have and I'm thrilled about that. He doesnt play nearly as often as he used to, but every once and a while he will slip up for a day or so. I AM happy with the changes he has made, but I know I will never be 100% happy until its completely gone. Just from the history he has had with it. I never want to go back to the days of endless crying and I want to have a family with him in the future. I don't want him to slip up later and become who he was before. I don't want to be raising a child alone. I know it's an addiction. And I know he has made a HUGE attempt and done great with it, but should I demand more? Or am I already being selfish?

I know this was long, thanks for reading. It feels good to know theres others where I've been."

.... in another post:

"Like I said, I am happy with the progress my fiance has made, but he has done it before, and fallen back into the game. It hurts so much to see him laughing and talking with people he doesnt even know, as opposed to me, the person who loves him more than life and will always be there for him. I try to explain to him all the time that I am going to be there for him when he is hurt, or sick, not them. I just hope I got through to him this time, but I'm not letting my gaurd down just yet. He's lied to me before, and my guess is that he would again. I just never want to go through that pain that we've all felt before."

.... yet another post

"So, I got him to put the game away. Of course that is only while I am with him. Apparently he thinks as long as I don't see it its all ok. Only, I don't want him to flunk out of school or become even more antisocial than he already is. Anyway, I no longer have to deal with the game taking away from my time with him, now it is the message boards pertaining to the game. I asked him tonight to come cuddle up and watch a little tv with me, after making him dinner and cleaning up after him of course, and what did I get? "Give me just one minute, I'm reading this post, I'll be done in a sec." Thirty mins later I'm still alone on the couch listening to the obnoxious keyboard. So when he finally comes over to me, he expects everything to be fine and when it isnt, its just me "pushing him away." I explained the problem to him, and never recieved an apology, he just kept trying to be affectionate. I wasn't having it.

At least things are better than they were. I guess we'll see what happens...."


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