"My wife and I had lived together for the past four years. I notice right off the back that she was't like most women when it came to video games and computers. She played longer than I did and got more excited about graphics and what not. About 1 month into the relationship she re-installed the sims game into our computer. I watch as she played for 12 hours a day both days on the weekend. I was highly concerned ... put off that she had done this, but even I have indulge myself for hours playing a video game or doing fantasy sports on the computer, but that was the first time. First Red Flag.
Well for the next couple years this became a pattern you would a get a new game play it for a couple weeks straight and then she would go back to life as usual.It would happen about 12 times a year and we argue some when it would happen.
But then she got into a whole new avenue of computer debauchury. She became addicted to message boards.... She ran a message board and her level of committment was at an all time high being on the computer 3 to fours a night.
Well four months ago we finally got married.
The Day we got back from our honeymoon my wife heard about a Star Wars on line Game where you innerect with other people. It was in the same calibur of the games she used to get addicted to for a couple weeks at a time like Morrowind and Fable.
'Uh oh,' I thought at the time. It was the beginning of August 05.
She began talking about this game all the time. She would a couple hours a night for the first couple as she figured the game out, but then it happenned. The two world united. Her gaming addiction and her message board need for on line community addiction joined forces. She began play four hours a day, five hours a day....
And then her world became this Star Wars world. For the past three months straight this is my wifes schedule. She works from 8 a.m- and gets home around 6 p.m. Then from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m and sometimes up to 4 a.m she playes her star wars game. To her credit and for this only will I give her credit, she does stop for my child's basic needs that I'm not doing. Diaper changing, feedings, putting him to sleep. Changing the channel or DVD. And occasionally she will make a dineer that might take her 30 minutes to do. But aside from that and the occasional laundrt every two weeks she only games. Spends zero time with me.
This is the pattern that my wife and I get into. She plays a couple of days straight and I get real pissed. I fight with her about it.
She says, 'Why would I want to spend time with you when all you do is put me down and fight with me.'
My response is, 'The reson why we fight is because you play that damn game all the time.' Its like a catch 22.
I get so fed up and she tells me the reason why she keeps playing partly because i tell her I don't want her too. So we usually fight really bad about it. I say a lot screwed up things like 'I've lost respect for her.' Then I feel bad we make up. we never have make up sex. Our make up routine is I shut up about for the next five days while she goes even more hay wire playing the game. Finally I hit a place again we fight. i say more screwed up things we make up I'm quiet again for the next five days. This is our cycle.
My wife and i have not been intimate in 3 months. We have only had relations twice since our honeymoon. About three weeks ago i privately logged her hours during a one week span. I did this because she claims she doesn't play as much as I say. In one week she played 58 hours.
I often wake up at two three in the morning and she is not in bed and is playing the game.
Last night. this is the night of my first post. I woke up at 5:30 and she still wasn't in bed. I went to her. She said she had trouble sleeping and was planning on staying up all night. She works on saturdays.
I really don't know what to do. This is killing my relationship. It breaks my heart constantly. I feel very alone in this being a guy. my friends absolutely think my wife is crazy and cannot relate on any level. I don't know what to do."