tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post113267180341264221..comments2023-08-29T08:19:40.509-07:00Comments on Everquest Daily Grind: MMORPG Infinity (no beyond): Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1135202456810751762005-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:002005-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:00Shes gotta help herself too. If shes not willing ...Shes gotta help herself too. If shes not willing to change then this is the life your going to live. Its a form of neglect on her part. Addicts will find a way to make it seem like they have no choice but to play or drink or whatever. You gotta do what is best for you and yours.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1133459498273537442005-12-01T09:51:00.000-08:002005-12-01T09:51:00.000-08:00My gaming habits interrupted my new marriage also....My gaming habits interrupted my new marriage also. My wife is a very grin-and-bear-it type person, so she never confronted me directly. I could tell though that it didn't make her happy when I was online. At first I tried to get her into gaming too, thinking it wouldn't be as bad if we played together, but this just led to silly fights when she would screw up in game. Finally I realized this was hurting my wife and so I quit playing.<BR/><BR/>I have found that I have an "addictive" personality. When I get into something, I get into it ALL THE WAY. Since I quit playing, I've started reading again and pursuing other more "meaningful" hobbies.<BR/><BR/>Just get her away from the game for awhile. Hopefully with some distance she will see things more clearly. Take a small vacation. Visit your parents. Camp. Anything. If you can't afford time off from work, then I would recommend hiding the computer.<BR/><BR/>If you truly remove the computer out of love for your wife, not out of spite or anger then hopefully she will see how much you care. If she can't see past her gaming habit, then she may truly be addicted and need professional help.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1132829745249749392005-11-24T02:55:00.000-08:002005-11-24T02:55:00.000-08:00I would absolutely recommend *against* any of the ...I would absolutely recommend *against* any of the above 'cold turkey' type solutions. Killing the pc, or deleting her characters will basically present her with a harsh, sharp 'It's the game or me' type choice which is unlikely to go in your favour, since by doing so you are 'The Enemy'.<BR/><BR/>The key is understanding her addiction, and what drives it. Although obviously not 'real', the Star Wars game presents her with a world that is far more prefereable than this one. It is a bright, consequenceless world in which she feels beautiful, because no-one is anything but. She is surrounded by like-minded people who only know her only for what she chooses to present them, rather than who she really is. She is presented with clearly defined and simplistic 'life' goals to achieve, which engender a 'quick-fix' of self-worth. Nothing hurts, takes much actual effort, is that difficult or costs any serious amount of time or money. <BR/><BR/>It can seem a kind of utopia compared to the harsh, dirty, ugly and often pointless Real World outside. It is escapism, and without a PC, she is quite likely to simply find another, similar, avenue of escape.<BR/><BR/>Gamer Widow offers the best advice; patience, understanding and an acceptance that it is going to take time to get to the point where she no longer needs to escape. I wouldn't go as far as calling it a mental illness, but gaming addiction is more than mere selfishness.<BR/><BR/>Start by learning a bit about her game; Star Wars: Galaxies. This may sound counter-productive at first, but it will provide you both with a common topic of conversation that doesn't involve argueing. At the moment, she largely exists within the game, so taking an interest in that, is taking an interest in her.<BR/><BR/>Then once you are chatting aimiably about lightsabres and whatnot, you can begin to gently steer her to other more normal topics and start to pique her interest in real things...restaurant, holidays, etc.<BR/><BR/>Once you have a better level of communication, without perceived judgement or recrimination, you will cease to be this tyranical ogre bent on ruining her fun in her eyes, and it will become a lot easier to start setting out boundaries and time for each other, and accepting them, but right now, she simply isn't capable of passing up on the game for a day, without resenting it, and you for making her do so.<BR/><BR/>She is unlikely to ever reach a point where she will *never* play online games again, but certainly a balanced and healthier approach to them is achievable, although it will take time and work from you both.<BR/><BR/>Good luck, whatever happens, and take some consolation in the fact that the Star Wars game recently went through a massive set of very unpopular changes, turning it into a very different kind of game altogether - one she may no longer like.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1132825425971423402005-11-24T01:43:00.000-08:002005-11-24T01:43:00.000-08:00interesting..gamer widow, gives the best tips out ...interesting..gamer widow, gives the best tips out of the other clowns. make sure u have a plan, ie when u have a arguement try to resolve the problem in a calm productive manner and not turn it into a whose right and whose wrong. resolve it right away even if its a slow process, not over a long period of time and get her to share what is really bothering her which may not be easy.<BR/>be extra sensitive in what u say and do. i understand how much this problems bother u and i know how much u love her...tell her what u want instead of getting frustrated.<BR/> she must be a special women to be able to take care of the kid,cook occasionaly, work, and stil have time for games :) so pls understand it from her point of view too :) computer is an escape for her or maybe something deeper mentally. and no she is not crazy u jus need to support and help her and joining her occasinaly for gaming wil not hurt either.<BR/><BR/>it is a coincident that i found this site doing a mmorpg research for my school and yes i am into gaming too. i could go on forever but i think i better stop here and wish u the best. and take care i may drop by something :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1132765720267416002005-11-23T09:08:00.000-08:002005-11-23T09:08:00.000-08:00The computer needs to go. Pull the hard drive and ...The computer needs to go. Pull the hard drive and hide it while she's at work. Hand it to a friend and tell him you're not to get it back for a week, minimum. You guys can live without the computer, trust me on this. <BR/><BR/>When she gets home and it doesn't start up, she'll freak. The two of you can then start discussing appropriate adult behavior in a mature relationship.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1132720085354851722005-11-22T20:28:00.000-08:002005-11-22T20:28:00.000-08:00I have a feeling Option B would absolutely backfir...I have a feeling Option B would absolutely backfire... first of all, any woman would feel threatened by that. Second of all, if complaining already drives her to play (apparently), how much would an action such as Option B do to her?Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07924922999762832408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6241291.post-1132699255117171942005-11-22T14:40:00.000-08:002005-11-22T14:40:00.000-08:00Option A)I would log on her account and delete her...Option A)I would log on her account and delete her characters one night. <BR/><BR/>Option B) The next time you find her online at 3:00 am grab a Louisville Slugger and smash the monitor. <BR/><BR/>Option C) Book a trip to somewhere she's always wanted to go and has never been. Get her interested in researching things to do while you go visit that destination. Restaurants, historic sites, museums. It might divert her attention and get her grounded to reality once more. <BR/><BR/>Personally, I would go with Option B. If you want to piss her off like nothing you've ever seen do option a. Losing her toons after all that grinding and questing and all the items she's gotten for her characters will drive her BERSERK!!! But there's a chance she might get her characters restored. I just love the shock value of Option B and the whole putting your foot down.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com