It's 10 pm. Do you know where you and your loved ones are? Here is a collection of experiences from those who live / have lived with an obsessive MMOG gamer and from those who have lived the experience of obsessive MMOG gaming.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

"I foolishly bought my husband Everquest about 3 years ago. I also made sure he had 2 computers to run the game on and to chat with the other players in chat rooms on the other computer. I let him play as much as he wanted to and never asked that he try to limit his online game playing. 2 or 3 hour's a day turned into 5 or 6 hours a day and then to 15 to 20 hours per day on the weekends. I suffered in silence as our married life just fell by the way side, the last year and a half have been miserable with him either sleeping, working or playing Everquest. When Everquest 2 came out it just got worse and worse, He played in the basement and so i never really knew exactly what he was doing in and with the game. Well, i decided one night to go downstairs and see how he was since i had not seen or heard a sound out of him for over 10 hours. I get down there and he has a headset on and a microphone and his talking in realtime over Teamspeak to one of the players. I tell him i think that is taking it a little far, chat on line but forget the Teamspeak thing as he is devoting so much time to this game that he is like a zombie day in and day out, and seems like every week is treating more and more like I am inconveniencing him by even talking to him. I ask him to start limiting his time on this game, by now he is doing over 55 hours a week, he is going to work daily but falls asleep in chairs and even while eating.

I mention it and he says to stop nagging him. Well last month... i went downstairs and again found him with a headset on and a microphone. Talking in real time to his Everquest Wife. Did you know that players can Marry in this Game? That's just plain crazy. Turns out this Everquest wife and him have been married for over 6 months and not only playing the game but also caring on an affair in real life. As I stood there she was telling him to do something or another for her as she is being attacked by some monster in the game, I looked over at the 2nd pc screen and seen the pictures they had exchanged (naked) and that they had just finished having Skype sex. I told him to choose her or me right then and there. He told me that the game role playing got serious on a personal level when they decided to talk in real time, i guess talk about the game soon became talk about the characters having sex and they did in Everquest the Beta version and from there they were excited by each others character's, she was level 68, he was a level 69 and they fell in love with each others character and then each other (although they never met in real life) they were going to but i stopped it in time.

He said they had cyber sex, phone sex, Skype sex, and she even called him at work!! He said Everquest let him lead a life outside our marrage.I was so hurt i just died right then and there, no words can even describe the pain of a game allowing characters to Marry. They took the fantasy role playing up a notch and it was leading to our breakup. I asked him why are you doing this, get this, i mean really, get this stupid reply he gave me. "because you were not spending time with me" HELLO!!!! you were always either playing the game, sleeping or at work!"


Blogger bill r said...

hi there. i'm writing an article for a major daily publication about this subject and i'm hoping you might contact me to talk about it. the interview will be strictly confidential, and you may be able to help people going through the same thing.

Jun 6, 2005, 11:17:00 PM

Blogger Mee-ah said...

Wow... My heart really breaks when I read stories like this. The thing is that the affair with the game came before the real affair. The distance between husband and wife was already there because of the void between game life and real life. What can I say? I've been the spouse of a game addict and I got myself good and addicted too, trying to get back into his world.

Jun 23, 2005, 11:46:00 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I play Everquest II and play it many hours a day. I am disabled and find the game relaxing (mostly) and a good relief for the aches and pains I live with 24/7.

The situation with your spouse is a problem that occured between the two of you before EQ II entered your lives.

Because someone watches a violent horror movie doesn't make them a serial killer - the person themselves are predisposed to it or are responsible for it - not the movie or in your case of marriage - Everquest II.

My suggestion is for the two of you to go see a marriage councelor (if its not too late), or a less helpful option - get into his world of playing Everquest II and cyber with him . . . althought cybersex vs hands on because your both in the same house is a abit boring.

People are responsible for their own actions - not those of the other person, and not because of some external influence. Deal with it or get out.

May 27, 2006, 9:09:00 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I play EQ2 also. I usually play after work instead of watching television, because I work night shift and it is late when I get home.

I find it relaxing, and I like the social aspect of it. I even belong to a large gaming guild of adults w/ similiar interests.

However, I made it a rule that Real Life commitments always come first, and during the weekends I am rarely playing EQ2 during the day. Especially when I can participate in other activities (Fishing, hiking, ect., ect.)

It sounds to me like your husband has an addiction to EQ2. Addictions can be anything. An addiction is defined as an obsession w/ something to a point that it disrupts your life. So, I agree he needs counseling, and I think marraige counseling would be beneficial too. There he could be in a setting where there would be a non-biased party to mediate, and point out what each of you could do to make things work w/o blame placed on each other.

Or... as someone else suggested, you could play EQ2 w/ him. However, I think his addiction problem with EQ2 needs to be addressed first, and the communication issues in your marraige as well.

Jun 16, 2009, 3:07:00 PM


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