"The more hobbies/distractions that I have, the less time I will spend depressing about the damage being done. So, getting more hobbies is, coincidentally, what my husband also encourages me to do. Another thing he encourages me to do is get plenty of sleep (a good thing, right?!) so that I will even be UNCONSCIOUS while he plays his games. By the way, scrapbooking is also a hobby of mine, however I find it very difficult to separate the joys right now from the heartache. He is supposed to be part of the joy and he is currently opting out of much of it. I often feel like I don't WANT to preserve many of the memories I have about these last few months.
I do have many hobbies and am constantly keeping busy both inside and outside of the home. I am fortunate to be spoiled by a very easy 1st child who doesn't require my constant attention 24/7. I have never had to go without taking a shower (lucky me, I guess!) and while it is a challenge to keep up with all the housework all the time, I give myself some slack. I am already involved in a play group with other moms and babies and will even start ... "baby music class" .... All of this is supposed to help me socialize with other adults while also spending quality time with my son. I manage to keep my calendar pretty well booked with visits to friends and errands that I hardly have time during the day to depress about EQ. It is at night, when the man I love and want to spend time with more than anyone or anything else, comes home and barricades himself in his office so he can spend the next 5-6 hours pretending he's a dwarf or a whatever, that really causes me to blow a fuse. I can hardly stand to see the room where he devotes himself to something that is causing us to become disconnected with each other. I feel like I'm a roommate, not a wife. Yet, when he first returned to work following the birth of the baby, he had the audacity to be hurt that I wasn't standing in the doorway waiting for him. He wasn't concerned about having meals together or spending the evening with each other. He just wants me to BE HERE...like a picture hanging on the wall. I am his wife, another goal he has checked off of his "to-do" list in life. I guess his son is another goal he has now checked off. Only, we're not through. He wants several more children, so he can check them off, too, and then I can be so busy that I will never have time to bother him about how he spends his time. That will never happen. My marriage and family are priority #1 for me, and no matter how busy I am or how entertaining my hobbies might otherwise be, I will always be most concerned with making this marriage last. Is it possible to be too concerned with what is most important to me and what he says in words is also important to him?"