It's 10 pm. Do you know where you and your loved ones are? Here is a collection of experiences from those who live / have lived with an obsessive MMOG gamer and from those who have lived the experience of obsessive MMOG gaming.

Monday, April 24, 2006

"my husband ... plays Everquest. He stopped for a while before we were married (I threatened to leave) I thought this was a video game? It seems that all his free time is wrapped up in it.
I just want to cry.
Can you offer any help or information. He gets livid when I suggest time constraints or quitting. We had a baby 7 months ago and he sits her on his lap while he plays and calls this his quality time. Are we forcing him into this world? As a former participant was it the lack of a satisfying reality that caused your retreat to a virtual world?"

9 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

at the end of the day the reason people play games is because it offers them things they just cant get in real life . to most hardcore gamers real life is somewhat boring compared to the experiences games offer them . lets face it would you rather slay dragons with armies of your friends at your side and magic powers at your fingertips or would you rather work 9-5 in a job your under appreciated and underpaid in for some company who doesnt care about you then come home file your bills do the housework and go to bed ? the reason we play is because real life bores us . its to escape the mundane reality of our society . that being said , there is a way to wean someone from eq , you just need to find something for him to do instead , personally i have switched to less time consuming games ( battlefield 2 , civilisation , games i can drop out if easily ...) and i snowboard as much as possible , i tramp(hike if your u.s.a) rock climb , surf , fish anything to not be in the house ...somewhere out there is something he would rather do , something you can be involved in , you just have to help him find it ! good luck !

May 3, 2006, 7:43:00 PM

 
Blogger J said...

Well said. I think what gamers often forget that dragonslaying on the computer screen - although fun and immersive at that - is hardly more exciting than things in real life. I've played EQ for 4-5 years, and it took me about that long to realize that online life was as mundane, if not more boring... random rules set by some corporation and their employees, doing the same things over and over... with conversations circling around the narrow defines of the online universe (or about the depressiveness of real life). This isn't something that can't be told - people have to learn that on their own before they can understand

May 4, 2006, 11:48:00 AM

 
Blogger News is Good said...

I was not aware that you yourself had a problem, J, although I did guess that as the most possible reason for you running this blog. I am fascinated by the judgements that lie behind problematic game playing - people must really think that the game is better than getting out and doing stuff in the real world. I wish I had an answer for this poster. I am working on figuring my mind out about the issue right now, and will be for some time - whether it is possible to come up with a solution though, I do not know.

May 4, 2006, 12:08:00 PM

 
Blogger J said...

I think quite a few of us wonder about the same thing - maybe some collective thinking and discussion will bring us closer to the truth and closer to understanding the issue. Even gamers will readily admit that the extraordinary feats online can't be quite compared to real life feats... what I find so interesting is that this isn't full-scale denial - yhe obsessive gamer is aware of their skewed thinking and the negative consequences of obsessive gamely but still chooses to continue.

May 7, 2006, 7:40:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sometimes i really wonder if it's even worth fighting for your significant one to come back to the real world. Games are becoming ever so popular, and it's a loosing battle. i found this article interesting. http://www.localnewsleader.com/olberlin/stories/index.php?action=fullnews&id=184860

i've been contemplating for the past 3 years whether to leave him or not, and now i'm packing my bags. i've had enough!

May 8, 2006, 10:32:00 AM

 
Anonymous MightyJack said...

If you've been waiting for three years, you've probably waited long enough.

Good for you for taking action and standing up for yourself to get this problem out of your life when he apparently won't.

May 8, 2006, 4:00:00 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you MightyJack.
This is exactly how I feel, but it’s oh so good to hear it from someone else. Like many people here (I’m guessing, but pretty sure this is the case), I’ve been keeping this situation a secret. I mean, how do you explain to family and friends that your loved one is so taken by game, they’ve neglected every social and emotional aspect of their real lives.

At the same time, it’s not like this addiction ruins lives as drugs and alcohol do. A yearly subscription to EverQuest costs like what $200 a year? That’s about 3 dates (dinner and a movie) in real life. It’s not like many of these people have to live on the street, steal, prostitute and reserve to violence. Yes, many loose jobs (as it happened here), but then they bounce back. In a way, it’s not much different from having an affair. Something else satisfies social/emotional even sexual needs. It’s not an easy decision to make, to walk out on someone you love. But at this point, I realize that if he ever stops, we will always be haunted by this experience. It’s a very thin line between devotion and need to take care of yourself. I’m grateful that we don’t have children.

May 8, 2006, 6:30:00 PM

 
Blogger Desperite House Wife said...

My husband has been a loyal gamer as long as we have been married. The better the games got the more he became involved. We have two children and I am an at home house wife. He currently plays WOW Non stop. Everytime the subject of him playing on the game comes up he comes up with so many reasons why. about 3 months ago he came home from a tour over seas and immediately became ingulfed with the game. Then he told me he was going to use it to work out with. He sets it up on his laptop so he can play while he runs on the treadmil. I agreed to him doing this three days a week so he could get back into shape. But in reality I had no idea that ment up to 6 hours or more and then when he got tired from being on the treadmil he would just move to the computer desk. My children like the game as well and love playing with daddy on the game. I try to limit the amount of time my kids are on it because I don't want them to develope the same behavior as he has. And the last thing I want is for my son to grow up and make his spouse a unhappy with him as I am with his father now. I have made several attempts to talk to him about this or I make little comments here and there but he gets deffencive. Now I am at why bother. If anything can tear this marriage apart this can. I will always love him, but if this doesn't change I am affraid that the resentment will build so much that I wont be able to hide it anymore. He claims he can stop but again there will be some reason why he doesn't. He makes me feel as if I and the children are not important enough. We come second to the game. My Daughter now is starting to feel the same brush off I have been feeling for years. He has been trying for me to hop off to help me but when it comes to me or if the kids there are growing more time and time again where we hear "hold on" more than we should. PLEASE ANYONE HELP - How do I handle this. He is a good man, a good father, a great Husband / when I don't have to share him with the other woman named World of Warcraft.

May 25, 2006, 10:07:00 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is there anyone on this forum who wants to share their story of being addicted to online gaming or having a loved one addicted?

I am a journalism student at Columbia University. If you reside in NYC, please contact me at jkp2121@columbia.edu.

Best,
JP

Feb 12, 2009, 12:27:00 PM

 

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